Budget Day Ballet and The Entrepreneur's Ode to Autumn Budget

1st November 2025

Oh Budget Day, how grand you seem.
A fiscal feast! A spreadsheet dream!
With promises wrapped in hopeful tone,
While wallets weep and pensions groan.

They'll say, "We're fair! We tax with grace,"
Then swipe your savings—just in case.
A levy here, a duty there,
But only for those who "can bear."

Stamp duty's dancing, CGT's in flight,
Inheritance tax takes a bite at night.
"Broadest shoulders," Reeves will say,
As middle earners limp away.

Public services trimmed with flair,
NHS queues? Just breathe stale air.
Education's budget—what a joke!
Here's a pencil. Try not to choke.

And if you earn a hundred grand,
Congrats! You're in the 60% band.
But fear not—there's pension tricks,
And loopholes carved with politics.

So raise a toast to fiscal art,
To budgets bold and bleeding heart.
For every cut and stealthy tax,
There’s spin to gloss the gaping cracks.

The Entrepreneur’s Ode to Autumn Budget

Oh joy, it’s Budget time again,
Let’s toast the Chancellor’s mighty pen!
She’ll "back small biz," or so they say,
While hiking costs in a stealthy way.

"Growth and jobs!"—the headlines cheer,
Then slap your margins year by year.
Corporation tax? A gentle shove
To 25%, with zero love.

National Insurance, up we go,
Because success must pay the toll.
And don’t forget the VAT maze,
A Kafkaesque accounting phase.

Want to hire? That’s brave, my friend
With red tape that will never end.
And if you dare to scale or grow,
Expect more audits, cash flow woe.

They’ll say, “We’re here to help you thrive,”
Then tax your coffee just to survive.
Digital tools? A grant, perhaps
If you enjoy bureaucratic traps.

So here’s to budgets, bold and bright,
That dim your profits overnight.
We’ll pivot, hustle, innovate
While they legislate our fiscal fate.